Saturday, May 10, 2008

On Virtual Domination

I suppose I could tell you "once upon a time" and the time being October 2005, I was a generic girl with tissue paper wings, flitting through life oblivious to the sucking vortices known as blog sights. Ah the bliss of scribbling the random small poem in twilight, dropping paper in a box, letting deep thoughts ripen yellow in the darkness of spaces under my bed and in the closet. My inner banshee appeased by an occassional toxic spill - appropriately offset by rich word.doc text and a graphic from my HP software - I was almost a non writer...I was almost free.

Then a dear, disturbed friend invited me to a wonderland called Y360 (now pretty much defunct - a myspace lite if you will) and the dysfunction reared its ugly head. At first it was nothing. Just a lonely spot to journal, to post dusty lyric poetry from my teen years, to share an ejoke. Perhaps I could have controlled it in those weeks before a stranger chanced upon my page. Yes, I could have locked it down. But soon I had 11 friends. Then 34. Then 150. I found myself constantly checking for new comments, reading other blogs, peering into the virtual worlds of other junkies like me. I became an "interesting blogger." I joined other sites. The virtual dragon of blogging wrapped her scaly hide around my soul....engulfing me.

In retrospect, blogtopia is the perfect lure for the writer - becoming either a Shangri - la of accolade bearing readers - or wasteland in which we wannabes wander (tam likes alliteration) forever searching for an oasis...wandering the bandwidth villages in search of home.

And that brings me here. My 360 and myspace pages abandoned, my Livejournal only a private archive, I have taken great care to manage my addiction, keeping only one active blog on multiply - and a writing spot on writers cafe - until now.

I am told this place is full of those like me - and those who support those like me. I am tentative, but that may not last. My tissue paper wings long shredded, I already feel my claws curling around this new opportunity...

And so - let the virtual domination continue....